berpura-pura

assalamualaikum wbt readers..
sori for rarely updating my blog..
me really need ur help to keep dua' for my illness
people may say,i look normal,but,rite now,i feel so uncomfortable n always in pain..
some people keep provoking me by saying i'm so hipokrit,nk trik prhatian la,bla2 n any other critics.sokay,i'll try my best n will stop telling the truth about my illness..i'll keep it for me n my family only..tq for those people who keep supporting n provoking me..its so motivational way to cure me..:).yg pntg,tlg doakan sy ye kwn2..:)..

sakit yg tiada ubat

assalamualaikum wbt..
syukur alhamdulillah krana Allah masih mmberi nyawa dan oxygen utk sy brnfs..
jujur diakui sy sdang mngalami komplikasi kesakitan yg dikira tiada pnymbuh..
i've been diagnose by my lecturer 4month ago.n i shud follow up the treatment,but,i refused since im a lil bit busy stdying my course..as i dont like the medicine given to me too..coz the medicine also has its side effect..he prescribed me with the painkiller which doesnt effect me at all if i just take it for 1 dosage only..but,if i tke 2 pills in a once,the pain slowly reduce.the problem is,its overdose..huhu..so,i try to avoid eating those killling painkiller but my pain still hardly to recover..huhu..so,i'm slowly reduce the dosage n may only tke it if i'm totally in a bad pain..

its already 3 years since i sufffered from this pain..but,the severe moment just happen this year..after i accidently slipped from the edge in front of my hostel..its totally a worst moment as i unintended slipped n my back firstly reached on the floor before my head.so,the things that effect totally my vertebral discs rite..so,my disease act related to that part...still,my latest xray doesnt came out yet..,dctor just do some prediagnose bfore the result came out..n its PID..prolapsed intervertebral discs..well,its related to slipdisc..u may ask pakcik google for this kind of disease lol..it hurts a lot n really distracted my lifestyle..lately,i became so easily to be exhausted,cannot seeat on the floor coz later on,it will hurt my back a lot..sometimes,i can't perform my prayer on standing mode..so,just do some sitting prayer coz my back totally can't bend hardly for ruku' moment.yes,its so painful n what i can only do is crying by myself..once the pain coming,its just not for a moment,but,its sometimes stay longer than what i expect..now,the pain always come n its so painful n i try my best for not crying over the pain..i think,the pain come coz im totally abandoned my lifestyle..as i take for granted of my health before..i used to play sports with the restless activity..n i play energetic sports like hiking in cave,jungle trekking n etc... i know,this pain is given by Allah for me..its for kafarah dosa that ive made throughout this 20 years old life..

n for about 2 weeks ago,the pain severely attacking me..i cant properly stdy coz of the pain..rsa nk trcabut tulang pnggang n sakit dia sgt2 mnyusahkan n sakit..sakit je sy nanges smpai bngkak mata..pg esk nmpk mata pnda.hehehe...mnggu lps je smnggu xdpt msuk smua lecture..tba2 bdn sram sjuk..tnda nk mati dah ke ea??Allahuakbar..tkotnya,msih xbrsedia..T_T..YA Allah,rsau jgk tkot pape jd kn..sbb klu xjg n control,may lead to permanent paralysed..n bleh lead pd death sbb dia main nervous system.spine crush pn bleh jd..tp mcm2 la doktor diagnose n still,i know the best way to cure is to rely fully to Allah..YA Allah,sembuhkanlah sy..sy nk skor n jd doktor yg brjy..sy nk rwt org,bkn org rwt sy..T_T..kurangknlah sakit ini utk sy fokus n stdy..

so,guys,i really need ur help to keep dua' for my health..or else,i can't manage to concentrate in my study due to the killing pain..again,ur kindness totally precious for me..tq for reading n slm..:)