my holiday

Assalamualaikum,hye all..alhamdulillah,less than 1 week left before im proceed with my 2^nd year..well,kind of bored n my brain totally ksong2..why??bcoz,I left my brain without medical knowledge for about 4weeks..Allahuakbar,I maybe turn into something else when the class start..arghh..but then,what makes me become very lazy is the Korean drama n tv..n shopping with mama..why??because,I just don’t like to stdy when im home..seriously..never tell me why bcoz im totally cant proceed the stdy..yes,I do stdy the 2^nd year 1^st module which is gastrointestinal tract module,but then,for about 4 weeks having holiday,only 3 lectures I could probably finished them up..still,I already forgot most of the contents..Allah2..hehe..well,this is because of my laziness towards studying..aish,whatsoever la..as long as I enjoyed my holiday very much..Alhamdulillah..really2 love being at home though I don’t spend my time fully hangout with friends..but my mum is the bestfren ever..hoho..she is so cool and understanding..Alhamdulillah..im promise myself to give my best to her since she gave me everything from life until best accommodation…yet I know she wants the best for me though we’re so different in skin colour..she’s white,I’m medium white.eh..hehe..well,my grandma is chinese,so my mom totally resembled my grandma..ok,i mls nk smbung,we're continue later k readers..slm alaik n thanx for reading

chaotic exam

assalamualaikum wbt
sori sgt2 sbb amek msa yg sgt lma utk update blog..br je hbs smnggu xm final 1st year..well,lps 2hari,result release tros n alhamdulillah sy llus..:)..slps sthun brhmpas pulas n semnggu asyk nanges sbb rsau dgn performance yg sgt2 trok..huhu..YA Allah,trok kot msa tuh sbb rsa mmg xleh buat..blik lps jwb xm nanges..1st day xm MEQ paper..smua skali ada 10 scenario/case n SAQ..YA Allah,sbnrnya soalan xssh sbb mmg klu stdy,uolls akn dpt jwb tp sbb byk sgt2 nk kna stdy n tba2 lost memory tme tuh..rsa nk jerit je dlm dwn xm..tgk mmbe2 smua jwb dgn tnang..msa btul2 xckup..stu soalan essay kna jwb dlm msa 2 mnit..lps dicongak..we have only 1 hour n 45 min to finish all the questions..seriously mmg xckup msa n sooalan mmmg sgt2 la byk..msa tuh mmg doa n jwb smbil hntam je..english tunggang langgang..pstu nma parasites slh tulis bgai..but then,after half an hour answering the question,i get back all the memory and strength..cma time tuh rsa byk gler xleh jwb n lps je paper meq part 2 hbes ptg tuh,tros nanges tresak2..rsa mcm tme tuh down gler..haih..tp lps dpt kekuatan dan pelukan dri akhawat2 trcinta,tros bangkit utk ospe.

the next day tuh..stdy mcm org x btul mlm tuh..mnum 2 gelas nescafe n tdo pkul 4.30 pg..bgn pkul 6 pg...solat pstu smbung stdy smpai kul 7 pg..then drive to rcmp utk check in as 1st session for ospe.ospe nih paper praktikal..means ada 30 station altogether..pstu,ada 2 session dgn fake patient..ada communication skill n etc..stiap station akn ada soalan n figure given etc..stu session trmsuk dgn fake patient tuh hnye 4 mnute..dh la soalan byk..SUbhanalllah.tp still,kta xnanges k.:)paper tuh jela..lps tuh,tros blik qada tdo..bgn tuh trase sgt2 trok sbb tdo trlbih..tdo dlm 3 jam je..YA Allah,bgn tros migrain..nk muntah n slera mkn xde..haih..so,redha jela..bahan nescafe lg..tdo pkul 2pg sbb xthn mngntuk..pg bgn pkul 5,smbung stdy n qiam..haih..xtw knape rsa hdup trok gler tme tuh..chaotic sgt2..mebi sbb stdy last minute n memoryy pn tba2 jd short..grm tol..huhu..

last paper,EMQ..have 150 question n 2 jam stgh je kena jwb..can u imagine,dgn soklan yg berbelit bgai..felt like dying inside theree..i was like is this truly medical person..then,kluar xm hall,crying all over again..then,akhawat2 came n hugged me..givve me strength..bg ayt2 quran sbg pnenang jiwa yg sgt2 kcau nih..pstu ada jgk yg perli duk ckp,nanges mcm xde iman n tawakl kpd ALlAh..Allah,sntap kjp hti,bkn mcm tuh,sy nanges sbb sy xbrusaha sehabis molep..sy rsa usaha sy tgh jln je..pstu fiki nk give up je..sbb tuh sy rsa sy xbrape ykin akn pass.msa tuh xnk fail sbb nk sgt blik klntn..xblik dkt 3 bln..then mama asyk kol a week bfore xm..nanges sbb pnt sgt urus nnek sorang diri..my grandma act having a strok and cant move literally coz right part of her abdominal cant move..so,she need us to lift her and treat everything.so,mama have to do all this work alone bcoz abah are not around act..he's working at tganu..so,mama je ada..

so,stop bout mama..then,dlm 2hri mnunggu result tuh..i cant be alone bcoz ill cry as much as i want..xthu knape prangai jd trok bebeno tme tuh..dbr xyah ckp r..i cant drve..my friend drive me n housemates to the college..hoho.see,how bad am i..tp ptg tuh smpt tdo sbb smlmn xtdo piki bnda2 tuh..solat hjt n etc xyah ckp bape byk buat..coz i know my performances totally bad on that time..sy hnye mmpu fully rely to Allah..tp lps dpt result,nanges lg sbb trharu sy llus..uwaaaa..Allah2,msa tuh,3-4 org dtg pluk sy yg hmpr rebah dpn board result..then,dr gopal came and said,see u in ur 2nd year k..ohmai,itu yg mnyebabkn sy smakin trok mnanges..ouh,how lame n naive sgt2 tme tuh..rsa mcm,hey,why did i cry..n i answered,i cry bcoz now i biliv,Allah's miracle totally awesome..hebatnya kuasanya..sy rsa sgt hina n trok sgt..Allah,thanx for All,u really2 the most awesome ONE.thanx Allah..n brckp psl result,now im officially finish my 1st year..inshaAllah,next target,wanna score in 2nd year..klu llus,tros fly india..;)>.doakan sy utk thun kedua nih ye...n sori for ALl my mistakes..n my bad english.sori again..thanx love.thanx Allah,parent,siblings,Him,friends,and All..for the support n everything la..me really love everyone..;)

jalan yang aku pilih

bismillahirrahmanirrahim..salam alaik' smua..
alhamdulillah..kerana msih diberi pluang utk trus berbakti dan meredeem dosa kpd Allah..lma jgk ana x blog..mebi ana sibuk dgn hal2 khidupan ana nih..well,xlma lg ana nk final dh..yer,final utk 1st year as mbbs student di unikl rcmp...doakan ana llus yer..mngkn xmmpu nk cpai kcemerlangan slagi..huhu..takot sgt2..YA Allah,tp ana perlu kuat n fikir,ini msa dpn ana.knape ana pilih jln ini...setiap apa yg ana buat,ada hikmah..ana pernah jatuh,xkn ingin trus jatuh kn..ana juga fikir,mngkn tba msanya ana move on n keep myself up and become the most outstanding dukturah..Allahurabbi..ingin sgt mnjd dukturah muslimah yg mmprjuangkan medic di jln Allah..:).ingin mncri disetiap mksd yg belajar,psti ada trselit ilmu al-quran didalamnya..ttpi,krana trlalu sibuk dgn study dan byk yg msih xmmpu nk cver lg..ana rsa,mngkn jka ada msa,ana ingin mncarinya..inshaAllah..:)..btw,doakan ana yer antum2 smua..doakan ana llus tnpa ulangan supplementari atau ulangan tahun..ana ingin buat ibubapa ana bangga dgn ana.inshaAllah,ana akn usaha sehabis molek demi semua..smuanya kerana Allah.amin YA Rabb..:)

halawatul iman n grand sujud

assalamualaikum antunna smua..jzakillahu khair to Allah coz still give me breath to live until now..well,this update are about the current event n prgram that i've attended from last 2 week until todayy..

before that,i want to share something..mashaALlah,u know what,islam are so lovely and magnificient..yes,truly beautiful.if you know how i feel for being a muslimah and born as a muslim woman..yes,faith towards Allah and how we as muslim withstand with our own eternity believer.you know what,why people love to go to peaceful places like seaside,lakeside,waterfront n etc...because they keep prostration and really afraid and knows how to impress Allah..so,they manage to keep dua' and bless up our prophets especially our prophet muhammad S.A.W.but us??subhanallah,how the the creatures made by Allah inspires me a lot..i'll try my best to keep my faith and will improvise my daily practices like sunat pray,yasin reciting twice per week and read al-mathurat everyday..i still trying,but inshaAllah,i'll try my best to achieve it..

back to the topic..last week,i'd attend usrah and it's so yummy2 and awesome..well said,my akhawat2 were superb and fabulous...Alhamdulillah..however,only 4 outta of 8 including me were coming..the rest were having difficulties.nevermind my akhawat2 usrati,there's so many other time..hehehe..i'd like to introduce my usrahmate and my naqibah(leader)..the leader are wearing light blue scarf..not the turqoise one k..hehe..our naqibah had cook something awesome..and it's a spagetti marionaro..eh,just nonsense title..well,the food were cook with love and honesty..how she loves us and our relationship so much..know what,she's totally a good friend of mine..she always gives advices and keep supporting me especially when i was not healthy..my pain sometimes killing me inside..but then,my akhawat2 n another ukhti really concerned with me..yes,i admit,i'm so stubborn..why??because i just don't like the way my doctor treat me..huhu..but then,my superwoman,ukhti awatif always there for mee..eh,out of topic.hehehe..so,we're going to nearest park named tmn DR at ipoh..we discuss about why environment were more awesome than us..the discussion begin at 5.45 and end at 7.15..yeah,spending my day with them are so awesome..how i love my akhawat2 here so much..tq love..;)

 next,last nite i've attend MABIT which mean malam bina iman and taqwa..was awesome and superb..seriously,it is so outstanding and i'm looking forward to have them..just,my sickness can't fully adapt with the sleeping mode there..thus,i'm having difficulties to sleep well..its okay,now,i'm fine..Alhamdulillah..;)..ok,just nothing to share..let the pictures talk..hehe..ok bai..tq for reading and may Allah bless u..:)..jzkillahu khairan kathiran all..assalamualaikum.

p/s:my english totally out of league..i'm so bad in english.i'm so sorry if my english totally irritating you guys who expert in english

berpura-pura

assalamualaikum wbt readers..
sori for rarely updating my blog..
me really need ur help to keep dua' for my illness
people may say,i look normal,but,rite now,i feel so uncomfortable n always in pain..
some people keep provoking me by saying i'm so hipokrit,nk trik prhatian la,bla2 n any other critics.sokay,i'll try my best n will stop telling the truth about my illness..i'll keep it for me n my family only..tq for those people who keep supporting n provoking me..its so motivational way to cure me..:).yg pntg,tlg doakan sy ye kwn2..:)..

sakit yg tiada ubat

assalamualaikum wbt..
syukur alhamdulillah krana Allah masih mmberi nyawa dan oxygen utk sy brnfs..
jujur diakui sy sdang mngalami komplikasi kesakitan yg dikira tiada pnymbuh..
i've been diagnose by my lecturer 4month ago.n i shud follow up the treatment,but,i refused since im a lil bit busy stdying my course..as i dont like the medicine given to me too..coz the medicine also has its side effect..he prescribed me with the painkiller which doesnt effect me at all if i just take it for 1 dosage only..but,if i tke 2 pills in a once,the pain slowly reduce.the problem is,its overdose..huhu..so,i try to avoid eating those killling painkiller but my pain still hardly to recover..huhu..so,i'm slowly reduce the dosage n may only tke it if i'm totally in a bad pain..

its already 3 years since i sufffered from this pain..but,the severe moment just happen this year..after i accidently slipped from the edge in front of my hostel..its totally a worst moment as i unintended slipped n my back firstly reached on the floor before my head.so,the things that effect totally my vertebral discs rite..so,my disease act related to that part...still,my latest xray doesnt came out yet..,dctor just do some prediagnose bfore the result came out..n its PID..prolapsed intervertebral discs..well,its related to slipdisc..u may ask pakcik google for this kind of disease lol..it hurts a lot n really distracted my lifestyle..lately,i became so easily to be exhausted,cannot seeat on the floor coz later on,it will hurt my back a lot..sometimes,i can't perform my prayer on standing mode..so,just do some sitting prayer coz my back totally can't bend hardly for ruku' moment.yes,its so painful n what i can only do is crying by myself..once the pain coming,its just not for a moment,but,its sometimes stay longer than what i expect..now,the pain always come n its so painful n i try my best for not crying over the pain..i think,the pain come coz im totally abandoned my lifestyle..as i take for granted of my health before..i used to play sports with the restless activity..n i play energetic sports like hiking in cave,jungle trekking n etc... i know,this pain is given by Allah for me..its for kafarah dosa that ive made throughout this 20 years old life..

n for about 2 weeks ago,the pain severely attacking me..i cant properly stdy coz of the pain..rsa nk trcabut tulang pnggang n sakit dia sgt2 mnyusahkan n sakit..sakit je sy nanges smpai bngkak mata..pg esk nmpk mata pnda.hehehe...mnggu lps je smnggu xdpt msuk smua lecture..tba2 bdn sram sjuk..tnda nk mati dah ke ea??Allahuakbar..tkotnya,msih xbrsedia..T_T..YA Allah,rsau jgk tkot pape jd kn..sbb klu xjg n control,may lead to permanent paralysed..n bleh lead pd death sbb dia main nervous system.spine crush pn bleh jd..tp mcm2 la doktor diagnose n still,i know the best way to cure is to rely fully to Allah..YA Allah,sembuhkanlah sy..sy nk skor n jd doktor yg brjy..sy nk rwt org,bkn org rwt sy..T_T..kurangknlah sakit ini utk sy fokus n stdy..

so,guys,i really need ur help to keep dua' for my health..or else,i can't manage to concentrate in my study due to the killing pain..again,ur kindness totally precious for me..tq for reading n slm..:)